October
by ai-mango
Summary: An Evanescence songfic to October. Kagome sees Inuyasha and rnKikyo together, she brakes down. This is her thoughts and fate. Rated for lots of angst and violence. Please R&R -micca-
1. October

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Disclamer: I do not own ANY of the Inuyasha charachters. Please don't sue!!!

a/n: this is really angsty, and i know....i usually don't like Inuyasha and Kikyo togather...but i just wrote this like it is...kk? lol.... please r&r...... please! no flames!! they make this Michelle angry and sad. (and trust me...u don't want to see me angry...)

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I can't run anymore,  
I fall before you,  
Here I am,  
I have nothing left,  
Though I've tried to forget,  
You're all that I am,  
Take me home,  
I'm through fighting it  
  
The rain felt like stinging needles on her face that night, she wasn't returning home for a few tests, or going to visit her family either. This time, Kagome was going home forever. The man she thought she could love was still in love with another woman; so much, he deserted her for the wretched woman.  
  
Kagome didn't think twice about jumping into the well, she was exhausted she didn't even take three steps out of it before falling.  
  
While being knocked unconscious, Kagome dreamt. Dreaming about the man she still loved, "Inu-Yasha..." she mumbled as her delicate face it the gravel.  
  
Broken,  
Lifeless,  
I give up,  
I can't go on,  
Anymore,  
Ever again,  
  
Dreams, thoughts, questions...they all floated around in her head while she conversed with her overbearing conscious.  
  
_Did he mean to hurt you?  
_  
"Of course he didn't! He just didn't know I was there!"  
  
_Then why did he kiss Kikyo...behind your back...?_  
  
"Because she..."  
  
_You know it was on his own free will..._  
  
"No!"  
  
_Yes..._  
  
"But he loves me!"  
  
_Loved..._  
  
"..."  
  
_He betrayed you, Kagome..._  
  
"..."  
  
_The Kagome I know would understand this.  
_  
"No..."  
  
_Yes, Kagome, you know-  
_  
"No! Shut up! Stop talking to me!"  
  
Kagome opened her eyes to a beautiful sunrise, "how long have I been out?" she asked herself.  
  
Memories of Kikyo and Inuyasha kissing fluttered though her mind; he was holding her so tenderly, he'd never done that to her before. His hand on her back and her head on his chest. All of it made her cry, every thing made her cry. No longer could she live a normal life, he'd always be there...somehow...He had torn her up from the inside out and had broken her apart. Worst of all, she had to give him up to Kikyo; she would always regret that, but it was too late now.  
  
My only hope,  
All of the times I've tried  
My only peace,  
To walk away from you  
My only joy,  
My only strength,  
I fall into your abounding grace  
My only power,  
My only life,  
And love is where I am  
My only love  
  
Kagome sobbed into the gravel, her face stinging from the dirt in the cuts. She was bloody and her legs burned while her worst pain was her hear. It had been ripped, tortured, and shredded. "Please Inuyasha...I need you to survive!" she cried while rolling onto her back and taking a deep breath in. It was then she noticed the sharp pain in her stomach. Her shirt was saturated in blood and was so the gravel. Her eyes widened as the pain soon fully registered, "S-so...you'll do me...just as you did Kikyo years ago...?" she whispered while letting a soft chuckle out of her throat. She placed a sad smile on her face and closed her eyes; imagining Inuyasha's face when she had come back from the present and had brought his favorite ramen. He had just grabbed it from her while smiling when his face disintegrated and her eyes opened wide. She took in a deep breath and let it go slowly...but she didn't stop smiling. "I love you, please Inuyasha, remember that..." she lifted her hand to touch his smooth, warm, imaginary face. She then breathed out his name with a smile, but didn't breath back in.  
  
Constantly ignoring,  
The pain consuming me,  
But this time it's cut too deep  
I'll never stray again.

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a/n: this is what happens when i get depressed....i make people die in my stories....creepy, huh? well when i wrote this...i cried and the paper was all smeared with inky splotches...Also...please R&R

Oh! And i was wondering....maybe i could continue this...not as a songfic, but just the whole aftermath of it....like Inuyasha being all sad....well u know....

Bai! -micca-

(please no flames! TT ----- see! i cry anime style when u do!!!)

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	2. Findings

a/n: disclaimer: (lookie at my profile)

well it only took me a day to write this, (omg! The apocalypse!!!) well anyway, I bet u don"t want me to ramble on. And I have to take some test right now, so please enjoy!

ps: I didn't give this to my beta cuz I didn't have time...

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Inuyasha ran into Kaede's hut as fast as he could, "Where is Kagome? i can smell her blood for miles!" Miroku, and Sango looked at him with a worried glance.

"Well, she said she was going out to look for you...so we thought she was with you!" Sango mumbled while getting up off the floor and standing by Inuyasha's side.

Miroku gave the two a worried glance before also getting up and standing by Inuyasha's side. Being the impatient one, Inuyasha burst out running as fast as he could to the bone eaters well.

While waiting for Sango and Miroku to catch up on Kirara, Inuyasha sniffed around the magical well finding Kagome's scent and blood all over it, 'Well...I better go see if she's alright...there is a lot of blood, so her wounds should be large and painful. Sango and Miroku can patiently await my return.' he thought while jumping into time 500 years later.

Sango and Miroku quickly jumped off of Kirara and examined the blood all over the well, "This does not look good..." stated Miroku.

"Uh...well i kind of fingered that by the first glance, Shippou and Kaede are going to wonder where we are when they return."

"That doesn't matter, all we need to worry about is if Kagome is safe or not..."

Inuyasha opened his eyes to find Kagome's lifeless body laying on the ground, "Kagome!" he yelled while jumping to her side and putting her head on his lap, "Kagome?! Are you ok?!" he shook her shoulders a little bit, 'Of course not!' his mind screamed, 'She looks dead!'

He shook the thoughts from his head while touching her face; it was ice cold, "Oh...no..." he whispered while hugging her closely, "I'm sorry, i should've never left you alone for such along time...!" he cried into her bloodied black satin hair, "You thought you lost me...and now I've lost you. All of you..."

A single tear dropped onto Kagome's pale face as Inuyasha rocked back and forth with her in his tight embrace.

Sango paced around the well wondering when Inuyasha and Kagome would come back. Her wondering was answered when a light from the well shown, "Inuyasha! How is-" her heart skipped a beat when Inuyasha jumped out holding Kagome's lifeless body.

"Inuyasha! What happened?!" Miroku gasped while Sango covered her mouth and backed away.

Inuyasha grit his teeth and griped Kagome tighter, "I don"t know, but who ever did this to her will pay,"

"Y-You mean," Sango stuttered.

"Kagome is," Miroku added on.

"Dead.." Inuyasha concluded while letting Miroku feel Kagome's head.

Miroku gasped at how cold she was, "We better get out of this rain or her body will"

'shut up, Miroku.." Inuyasha shot a cold glare at Miroku and ran to Kaede's hut.

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a/n: cries waaaaa" feel angry, and sad, and deprived, (I really don"t know what that word means), but anyway, I typed this up on notepad and it seems so much longer,TT, well I feel like writing the second chapter now, (if u no me, u no that it takes me like a week to write a page"

lub,

micca!

ps: RANDOM ADVENTURES OF THE DAY!!!!!!!!!!!

"I was riding my horse without my saddle and birds attacked me, (don't ask), and I screamed fell off and he came over to me and drooled into my face,)ewwwwww,.it was all sticky,

"I was at my horses stable 2day and I found a well,and I jumped into it! But u see, I have arachnophobia and I saw a spider and I started screaming and it took me 20 minutes to get out," I guess I should check out the depth of the well before jumping into it and finding out that it was about 8ft-10ft, but it didn't take me to feudal America...


	3. Hello

a/n: Hello again, my fellow readers!! To answer some questions, I am German. I'm ¾ German!! (Woohoo! Go Germans!!!) Anyway, I do better understanding it than speaking it though. lol, well...read!

_

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_

_Playground school bell rings again,_

_Rain clouds come and play, again,_

_Has no one told you she's not breathing?_

_Hello!_

_I'm your mind giving you some one to talk to,_

_Hello..._

Inuyasha walked through the forest as quiet as he could, he didn't want to cause and chaos between him and a demon. Sighing, he hefted Kagome's lifeless body a little bit higher.

Silently, Miroku and Sango followed him. Shippou stayed behind with Kaede, and helped her gather more herbs and remedies. Sango nudged Miroku playfully and put on a smile; he knew it was fake.

She'd been unusually depressed every since Kagome had passed on. She spent most of the time sulking around and crying on Miroku. Most nights were spent crying until she couldn't cry any more...or until she fell asleep.

Miroku, really didn't really show any emotions. They guessed he just didn't know what to do or say. Last, Inuyasha...he was not complete without Kagome.

Inuyasha looked at Miroku and broke the silence, "Miroku? Do you reckon Kagome's body is preserved because was a-"

"Miko?" he finished as Sango gave him an annoyed glare.

"Can we NOT talk about her?!" Sango snapped back. The two men both gave her sad smiles as tears wielded up in her eyes.

_If I smile and don't believe,_

_Soon I know I'll wake from this dream,_

_Don't try to fix me I'm not broken..._

_Hello!_

_I'm the lie living for you so you can hide,_

_Don't cry..._

Without another word, Sango turned to Miroku and grabbed him; pulling him closer so she could have a pillow to cry on.

Inuyasha turned around and glared, "Would...you...stop..." he growled in a low tone. The monk looked up in surprise.

"Listen Inuyasha...If it was Sango who died, Kagome would be doing the very same..."

The men glared at each other for a while before continuing on and looking for a place to stay.

While the fire crackled and Miroku and Inuyasha slept, Sango stared into space mumbling to herself. Soon fining herself standing up, _Inuyasha didn't know...Kagome hadn't told him yet..._

"Sango?" asked a voice behind her, "you're still awake...It's almost down. Let's go to bed..." Miroku took her hand and sat back down, directing her to come sit with him. It took minutes for her to fell asleep, and of course she wasted many tears, "Sango... don't worry, we'll bring Kagome back..." he mumbled while dosing into a light slumber, but Sango didn't sleep...

_Suddenly I know I'm not sleeping,_

_Hello!_

_I'm still here,_

_All that's left of yesterday..._

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a/n: Did u enjoy? Lots of thanks to Mrs. Ables who betad this! She rocks!! I didn't get in trouble 2day at school when I rammed a chair into this one guys balls...just b/c she I likes me...tehe!

Well, I g2g to soccer and teach piano lessons!

Love,

-micca-


	4. Rin?

**a/n: I am so impatient! I didn't wait to have my teacher beta this...I wrote it in math after my test, (damn, I hope I got a good grade...) and I got home and am now typing this up! Tehe! Thanks for the great reviews you guys! I'll let you read now...**

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Sango looked up from her food swaying slightly from a mild stomach ache, "When do you think we'll find her?" She asked softly as the nausea left her.

While also looking up from his food, Miroku answered her, "Well I cannot smell as Inuyasha can, and I do not think that we will-"

"Shut up." Inuyasha said dully as Sango glared at him.

She sat down next to Miroku and continued eating.

It was only a few minutes later when Sango was scrubbing their dishes in a tiny pond when Inuyasha jumped up and started smelling the air.

"I can smell him..." growled Inuyasha ever so softly, "I can smell that child he's always with..."

While standing up, Sango thought about Sesshoumaru's companion, Rin...she'd been about the age seven they'd seen her the first time. But it had been years since that day, she had even just realized that they hadn't seen her for about three years!

They waited for Sesshoumaru and Rin to show up, but it wasn't till about fifteen minutes later that an exhausted Rin came wobbling out of the bushes.

"Help...me...Sesshoumaru...same...is...not...moving..." she collapsed on her hands and knees while Sango and Miroku ran over to help her up.

The first thing that they noticed was Rin's bloated belly, "Rin?"

"Y-Yes Youkai Exterminator?"

"You may call me Sango."

"Hai, Sango-sama..."

Sango smiled at the girl's politeness, "Your abdomen is swollen. Are you with child?"

Miroku and Inuyasha gasped and looked at each other.

"Sesshoumaru-sama says Rin is with pup. Why, Sango-sama?"

"How old are you, Rin?"

"Fourteen years now. Yes," she counted her fingers up to fourteen, "Rin is definitely fourteen now."

Inuyasha interrupted them, "So the stupid old mutt knocked you up?" he stepped forward while Rin gasped and glared while stepping towards an angry Sango.

Miroku put a hand on his shoulder, "Inuyasha! Do not take you're your loss on this poor girl..."

Rin stepped forward while Inuyasha was looking at Miroku and slapped him.

There was silence.

"You will not speak of Sesshoumaru-sama that way when you are in the presence of Rin."

Sango took her hand and smiled, "C'mon, let's go. We must aid your mate, Rin."

Inuyasha picked Kagome up and held her close to him, "Ok."

"Rin, jump on Kirara, Inuyasha? Carry Kagome, Miroku, and jump on with me and Rin."

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"Sesshoumaru-sama!!" Rin gasped while jumping off of Kirara.

Sesshoumaru propped himself up on his elbow, "Rin? Why did you bring them here?"

Before Rin could answer, Inuyasha stepped up and said, "We need you..." he paused.

"Help? To revive your mate who has passed on?"

Inuyasha was furious, "MATE?! Where did you get that?!"

"Sesshoumaru-sama knows all..." Rin smiled.

"The mark on her neck...part of the mating ritual..."

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**a/n: Sorry this is a little longer than the other chapters...but I'll update soon! My niece is here so I'm going to read her my story!!**

**-micca-**


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